Chapter 3: Dead End (Part 3)

Chapter 3 3. Desperate Straits (Three)

Yaoniang wept uncontrollably, tears mixing with the grime on her face, a wretched and hateful sight of utter disarray: "...Mother, it's my fault, I failed to think of you. This trip out made me realize my own worth; I'll never dare run away again!" She crawled forward and clung to Mama Yu's legs. "Please, for the sake of our past ties, don't throw me out..."

"Ties?" Mama Yu sneered coldly. "What little tie we had, you threw it all away long ago!"

She looked down on Yaoniang's deathbed remorse, yet couldn't pull her leg free from Yaoniang's grasp. Infuriated, she struck and pinched her. Yaoniang refused to let go even if it killed her, wishing she could grow onto her legs in the next life.

The two shoved and pushed, one frail with illness, the other aged and crippled; neither could gain the upper hand. They swayed and twisted, about to topple over.

Seeing Mama Yu about to fall, Zhaozhao reacted swiftly, steadying the old woman. "Please, Mama, have mercy. Let my mother stay in the house. I'll do the work of two. If guests want music, I'll play; if there's heavy labor, I'll do it too..."

"The house is full of girls and hands; why would it fall to a little brat like you to sell your arts and labor?" Mama Yu had run out of patience completely. She shouted toward the door, "Someone! Throw this money-losing goods out!"

The door was pushed open, and two dark-faced turtle slaves* burst in. Without a word, they moved to drag Yaoniang away. Yaoniang was terrified out of her wits, clutching Zhaozhao, refusing to let go. "Save me! Zhaozhao, save your mother!"

Zhaozhao had no plan, only desperately shielding her mother, who was nothing but skin and bones. The two turtle slaves were strong; they braced themselves and tried to pry her loose.

Seeing mother and daughter about to be torn apart, Zhaozhao steeled her heart. She pulled out her hairpin, pointed the sharp end at her own face, and shouted, "Pull again and I'll slash my face!"

That ringing cry struck like thunder, freezing the two turtle slaves. A courtesan's face is money itself; they dared not damage it recklessly. They looked to Mama Yu for a signal.

Mama Yu held her pipe, anger veiled behind the smoke. "You're threatening me?"

"Forced by circumstance. It's the only way to beg you."

Zhaozhao brandished the pin, her expression one of absolute resolve, yielding not an inch. "You let my mother stay in the house. I'll work to support her. I won't eat a single grain of the house's rice for free."

"If I refuse, you'll ruin your face?"

The house had raised Zhaozhao for over a decade; she hadn't lived or eaten for free, all in wait for her to grow up so they could sell her flesh. "Mama is a smart woman. You can tell profit from loss clearly enough."

Mama Yu laughed in extreme anger. "Good. You're something else. Putting on a death-defying stance, and for *this* mother! Half a year ago she ran off with a man—where was her thought for your life or death? Now you turn around to care for her!"

Zhaozhao's hand gripping the pin trembled. Her back grew hot—Yaoniang was pressed tight against her, terrified this last lifeline would slip away.

There were two mothers in her mind: one who sold her flesh to raise her, and one who abandoned her for a man.

The two mothers tangled into a messy, irreconcilable account. She couldn't harden her heart to cast her out; she could only pinch her nose and accept it. "No matter how many faults my mother has, she's the only kin I have."

Mama Yu didn't know whether to praise her filial piety or scold her stupidity. "You're magnanimous, but what ability do you have to support her? Don't forget she has a child in her belly! Not to mention you're still too young now—even if you work yourself to death, you won't earn much! Even if you eventually debut* as a courtesan, how many men would you have to sleep with in a day to earn enough grain for three people?"

Zhaozhao fell silent. To support three people, she'd have to sleep with over a dozen men a day. Sold like that, her body couldn't take the abuse; she wouldn't last a few years before catching a venereal disease. She had seen those with the pox—bodies oozing pus and stench, rotting piece by piece while waiting for death.

Thinking of this, she should have been despairing, yet she was remarkably calm. The road ahead was visible to its end; no matter how bad, it was just this. And there was always room to maneuver. "Mama, you always say 'Heaven won't let a blind sparrow starve.' I believe heaven leaves no road untrodden. No matter how bitter or hard, I'll take it one step at a time."

Mama Yu twitched the corner of her mouth, her expression profound—the look of an elder nearing the end, mocking the younger generation for not knowing the heights of heaven or depths of earth.

She lifted Zhaozhao's chin with her pipe, scrutinizing her carefully, weighing cautiously. Certain this girl would fetch a good price, she softened her tone. "I can't talk you out of it, and refusing you won't do either. Fine. Take your mother and move to the corner of the West Courtyard."

"Thank you, Mama."

Zhaozhao sagged with relief, her taut spine melting, going limp.

She moved to kowtow as usual, but Mama Yu blocked her forehead with the pipe stem, preventing her face from touching the ground. "Starting tomorrow, you go to the front hall to play and sing during the day, and wash and clean in the back yard at night. Rough work and fine work—you'll do it all. Remember: do not damage your face or hands."

A woman who sells herself can be heartless, lungless, and without principle, but she absolutely cannot lose her looks.

Zhaozhao understood. She bowed her head respectfully. "Yes."

——

"Zhaozhao!"

Hearing a call from upstairs, Zhaozhao looked up. Sunlight illuminated her still-youthful face, and the oversized peony flower at her temple.

Mama Yu looked down from above, inspecting her appearance, quite satisfied. She beckoned. "Come on up."

Zhaozhao carried her pipa upstairs, following Mama Yu to the outside of a private room. The door was ajar. Around a tea table sat several gentry in silks and hats, discoursing loftily on current ills while embracing the courtesans beside them, fondling them intimately—attending to both high and low, neither neglected.

Mama Yu pointed to the one with the richest bearing and whispered in Zhaozhao's ear, "That's Master Zhao, a favorite of the County Magistrate! You're lucky—first day and you meet a noble guest. His eyes are high; the girls called up before didn't please him. When you go in, watch your words, coax him well!"

No coaxing, no tips. Zhaozhao nodded. "Yes."

Mama Yu didn't rush to lead her in. She waited until the masters had argued until their mouths were dry, then entered carrying a teapot in one hand and leading Zhaozhao with the other, a face full of smiles.

She bustled to the table to refill Master Zhao's tea, simultaneously presenting Zhaozhao behind her. "Master Zhao, the previous girls couldn't catch your eye. Take a look at this new one?"

Unlike the others, Master Zhao had no courtesan in his arms—not because of virtue, but because he kept many concubines. Unless he met an exceptionally beautiful woman, he couldn't be bothered with the used goods outside.

He lifted his eyelids lazily, glanced at Zhaozhao, and abruptly frowned. "Mama Yu, you're fobbing me off with a little girl who hasn't even grown up?"

Times were bad these days; even buying pleasure required good steel for the blade. For the same price, everyone preferred plump, charming courtesans, not unripe little girls.

Master Zhao waved his hand to dismiss her, but Mama Yu smiled. "Master Zhao, this girl is a bit young, but she was always kept in the back courtyard, never shown her face in the front hall. Inside and out, she's clean through and through..."

She bit down hard on the words "clean through and through." Mama Yu pulled Zhaozhao forward, displaying her like livestock showing its teeth. She grabbed Zhaozhao's hand and shoved it into Master Zhao's.

Master Zhao took it, squeezed it. The calluses on this hand were fewer than other courtesans'; she had indeed been well kept. He lifted his eyes to look at Zhaozhao again. Fair complexion, eyes lowered, obedient. Her still-youthful face revealed a hint of unwillingness.

It was this very unwillingness that sparked his interest. "This girl looks familiar to me."

(End of Chapter)