Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Lady Weiguo, Shao-ge'er, and Yulian (5)

Behind every beautiful woman who leads a miserable life, there is usually no simple story, and Yulian is no exception.

If she hadn't been sold into Li Shouzhen’s household as a child, Yulian might have starved to death during one of the many droughts, locust plagues, or famines, or perhaps even ended up as someone’s food. Or, if she were luckier, she might have grown up to marry into a poor family of similar standing, living a life of poverty, ignorance, and resignation just like the one she had known before. In any case, ever since she became a maid in the Li household, she had witnessed a life completely different from her origins—a place where there was no hunger or cold, only fine silks and rich food. Even as the lowliest maid, she lived better than she ever had in her hometown.

But no one is easily satisfied, and even fewer are willing to remain in a lowly status, bullied at will, without envying those who live in luxury. Yulian gradually realized that her greatest asset and opportunity was her appearance. She was more beautiful than the other servant girls who did chores, and she had blossomed into a graceful young woman.

The master of the house, Li Shouzhen, held the greatest power in that wealthy estate, but he was a cunning old fox who had long since seen through the ways of the world; even if she caught his eye, she would be nothing more than a plaything. Yulian set her sights on Li Shouzhen’s son, Li Chongxun, a young master who had just come of age and lacked worldly experience.

As expected, Li Chongxun was easily bewitched by Yulian. After a series of vows and promises, Yulian endured the pain and revulsion to share the forbidden fruit with the young master. She did not harbor grand illusions that he would fulfill all his promises; for a wealthy young master like him, fulfilling even a portion would be enough. Furthermore, Yulian later discovered she was pregnant, which made her situation seem even more optimistic.

However, she eventually realized that it was impossible for her to become the daughter-in-law of the great General Li Shouzhen. The Li family would never pass up the chance to marry into the family of another great noble, Fu Yanqing. Thus, Fu Yanqing’s eldest daughter, Lady Fu, naturally became Li Chongxun’s legal wife. Yulian did not dare to easily reveal that she carried the Li family’s bloodline. She planned to first find a way to get on good terms with Lady Fu, hoping to become a high-ranking concubine by the couple’s side; if she gave birth to a son, she would have security.

Unfortunately, the world is unpredictable. Before Yulian could reach that day, the Li family was wiped out for launching a rebellion.

She and Lady Fu were both women, both women of Li Chongxun, yet in that moment of upheaval, their fates were vastly different. Lady Fu, who had just been the wife of a traitor, declared her father’s name and his friendship with Guo Wei, and in a flash, she became the adopted daughter of Guo Wei, another powerful figure. Yulian’s fate was clearly not met with such courtesy. Once the Li family was destroyed, she was left helpless and was snatched away by a military officer in Guo Wei’s army.

She was raped by that officer and then dragged back to his home. She could not resist, or she would face an even worse fate: being turned into a camp follower and gang-raped by countless men. Because of this, Yulian suffered a miscarriage, and due to a lack of timely medical treatment, she was later told she would never be able to conceive again. Before she could even harbor hatred for that officer, war broke out again. The general died in battle, and his wives and concubines divided his assets and scattered like birds and beasts, selling Yulian off like cargo to split the money. The man who bought her was her final husband, the one surnamed Chen. He was ugly, an alcoholic, bad-tempered, poor, and a eunuch—truly a man with nothing to recommend him. Even more unfortunately, when Guo Wei led his army back into the Eastern Capital, there was almost no resistance and very few casualties, yet he was pushed off the city wall and broke his leg.

As the days dragged on into the first year of Xiande, Yulian had lost all hope for life. A broken, barren woman with nothing to her name and a burdensome husband—she had thought many times about abandoning him and running away, but where could she go, and what could she do? In countless dark nights, she had speculated that if she ran away, she would likely be sold into a brothel. Even if she were taken in as a wife by some ordinary family, once they discovered she could not bear children and had no family to answer to, they would likely sell her for money to marry someone else, as commoners married primarily to produce heirs.

Sometimes she felt desperate, thinking only of surviving one day at a time, and that if she truly couldn't bear it anymore, she would just die.

At other times, she felt deeply unwilling and stifled. Not to mention wealth and status, she wasn't even as well off as the ugly, vulgar women in the markets of Longjin Ward in the Eastern Capital. She hadn't lived a single good day, yet she was mocked by them and gossiped about behind her back. Was she really to end her life in such humiliation, only to let those people gloat and ridicule her further?

She had no friends, no family, and even her home was a broken one. When her husband was killed, she felt no great sorrow. Such a situation made her feel like the most unfortunate person in the world. Although she was born into a lowly status, Heaven had given her a better appearance than most; besides, she wasn't the only one from the lower classes. Where exactly had she gone wrong? Should she not have provoked Li Shouzhen’s son in the first place? If she hadn't, would things have been any better?

Yulian felt she had no face to show anyone and only wanted to hide in a dark corner, so she rarely spoke to anyone when she went out. How wonderful it would be if no one in this world knew her, and if those gossiping busybodies would stop using her misfortune as fodder for their idle chatter.

However, she remembered Lady Fu, the Lady of Wei, whom she had seen on Zhuque Street yesterday. She, too, was a woman from the ruined Li Shouzhen household, but by virtue of her family background, she had become the wife of a government official. Her noble status made even officials look upon her with awe and reverence, let alone these market women—who would dare to mock her? They didn't even have the courage to be jealous. Yulian fantasized that if one day she could be that noble, those who knew her would feel ashamed and realize their own baseness. Only with such thoughts could she find a faint, ethereal sense of pleasure. But her experience in the Li household made her understand that this was impossible in reality; she could only console herself in her own heart.

...

In the evening, there was a knock at the door. Yulian opened it to find Shao-ge had returned. Shao-ge was still wearing his armor but carried no weapons. He hung his head, looking dejected, not daring to look Yulian in the eye. He didn't enter, but stood at the threshold and said, "Commander Wang has ordered me to pay compensation for the Chen family’s funeral expenses and support, but..."

Yulian hurriedly looked left and right down the alley and said, "Come inside to talk. Don't stand in the doorway."

Shao-ge hesitated for a moment, then walked into the kitchen and found a stool to sit on.

"Have you eaten?" Yulian asked. She treated Guo Shao not at all like the man who had killed her husband; she knew that Shao-ge had killed the man from the Chen family to stand up for her. Guo Shao didn't answer, so she guessed he had returned hungry. She hurriedly lifted the pot lid and scooped a full bowl of thick, greenish gruel.

Seeing the steaming gruel on the wooden table, Guo Shao said awkwardly, "This isn't really necessary... By the way, in the room where I stay behind the blacksmith shop, there is a jar of money under the chest, but it’s not enough."

Yulian asked, "They only told you to pay money, they didn't beat you?"

Guo Shao shook his head. Finally unable to resist his hunger, he picked up the gruel and took a sip. He immediately felt the texture was terrible, as if it contained husks or other grain shells... In this era, it was good enough to have anything to eat, but did Yulian usually eat this? He quietly glanced at her again; he truly couldn't tell that such a fair-skinned woman lived on husks and vegetables.

Yulian’s forehead was smooth and round, and she had an oval face that matched her clear, almond-shaped eyes perfectly. She was naturally beautiful, and though her brows didn't reveal any coquettishness, she looked quite kind. It was just that her clothes were truly tattered, and the sight of her fair face and neck made one think of a sticky rice dumpling that had been partially unwrapped.

Guo Shao took a large gulp of the gruel—he didn't know what it was made of—and lost his appetite. He ate slowly and said, "Commander Wang thinks I have some connection to Zhang Yongde, the Commander of the Palace Guards, so he wanted to do me a favor. But yesterday, Yang Biao was demoted three ranks for gambling and maiming someone. If Commander Wang were to show me leniency, it would be an unfair reward and punishment, and he wouldn't be able to command respect. Therefore, the order is to demote me from a Commander to a Ten-Man Captain, and I am responsible for the compensation... Yang Biao is the unlucky one; he was demoted to Ten-Man Captain yesterday, and today, because of me, he was demoted again to Deputy Captain to make room for me."

Military ranks in the Five Dynasties were chaotic, but because Yulian had grown up in Li Shouzhen’s household and later met Guo Shao in the Eastern Capital, she understood quite a bit about these things. She understood military ranks below Commander. A Military Envoy or Commander was equivalent to a centurion, a Ten-Man Captain was a squad leader, and a Deputy Captain was a deputy squad leader... Most people who joined the army did so to rise in rank and get rich. Although Guo Shao didn't have to pay with his life, being demoted from a commander of a hundred men to a squad leader was a significant loss.

Hearing this, Yulian said, "I don't want the deed to the shop anymore."

Guo Shao seemed to misunderstand and nodded, "I have no other way now, so I’ll count that shop as compensation for your family, and the jar of money will be included too."

Yulian shook her head and quietly glanced at him, "Keep the shop. I don't want it. I will sign a receipt for you to turn in, as if you have already compensated me."

Guo Shao frowned, "I have to return to the barracks early tomorrow morning. What are your plans for the future? That blacksmith shop is my compensation to you, and with Old Man Huang helping out, you can barely make a living. Don't refuse..."

"My affairs need not trouble you further, Guo-lang." Yulian’s tone suddenly turned cold; a woman’s mood truly changes faster than the weather.

Guo Shao’s unfinished words stuck in his throat, and he fell silent. He thought to himself that he had indeed always had a good impression of Yulian—a beautiful yet pitiful woman who was also very diligent; who wouldn't like her? But it seemed he couldn't expect anything from her just because he had been slightly kind to her and helped her during her time of need.

He stood up, ready to take his leave, but by the light of the firewood in the stove, he suddenly saw Yulian’s eyes glistening with tears. The flames in the stove flickered, casting shifting light and shadow on her face, as if reflecting her wavering heart.

"You..." Guo Shao didn't know how to ask.

Yulian pursed her red lips, looking as if she wanted to say something but stopped. Her beautiful, clean face looked strangely out of place in the dilapidated, dusty, low-ceilinged house, creating a stark contrast. The kitchen was filled with a stale smell, and everything was old; because of Yulian’s presence, it all looked so discordant.

The tears in her eyes finally slid down her cheeks, and at the same time, she revealed a faint smile: "You should go back. We won't be like those adulterers, and I am not a venomous woman who committed adultery and murdered her husband. I will keep in my heart the kindness Shao-ge has shown me."