Chapter 34: I am Zhang Sanfeng the Mad; how may I assist you?

This was a rather shabby house.

It looked like a thatched woodshed, but it seemed even more dilapidated and desolate. The emptiness within was of such a degree that even if a thief broke in, they would likely leave a hundred yuan in tears, begging to be allowed to live well.

There were two holes in the ceiling above, and the whistling cold wind blowing in was enough to chill one's heart.

Aside from a bed made of nothing but wooden planks, a chair missing half a leg, a filthy broken bowl, and some chopsticks, the only other thing in the entire woodshed was half a steamed bun that had been soaked in water and turned mushy.

"This can't be my home, can it? Am I an orphan or just a brain-damaged idiot with missing limbs?" Wu Wang frowned, feeling somewhat perplexed.

According to the dungeon's introduction.

Although this village was somewhat isolated from the world, people were supposed to have no worries about food or drink. So why had it turned into such a godforsaken place for him?

Even an orphan shouldn't live this miserably!

*Knock, knock, knock—*

A rapid knocking sound came from the door.

Wu Wang turned to glance at the door, which looked like it could collapse at any moment; in reality, it was just a wooden plank propped up and tied with rusty wire.

"Zhang Erwa! Come out and eat!"

A coarse, middle-aged woman's voice rang out.

Without caring whether Wu Wang had any objections, she grabbed the wooden plank and shoved it open forcefully.

Looking at the thin youth sitting on the legless chair, about to gnaw on that water-soaked bun, the woman frowned and cursed, "I've told you several times! You're not allowed to eat things that are dirty! Do you not understand?"

As she spoke, she stepped forward and slapped the bun out of Wu Wang's hand.

Then, she pulled two pieces of bread from the bag she was carrying, even carefully peeling the packaging for him before handing them over.

It was as if she were terrified he might eat the wrapper and the preservatives along with it.

Wu Wang was almost laughed to death by anger.

*Does this damn woman really think I'm a moron?*

"Child, you're so young, your parents are gone, and you've got that madness... you can't even take care of yourself. It's truly pitiful," the woman said, looking at Wu Wang with a face full of heartache.

"?"

*Wait, hold on, am I actually a madman?*

Wu Wang froze for a moment.

No wonder this house looked so broken and didn't even have proper furniture; it turned out it really was the residence of a brain-dead person.

Orphan, madman, backward village.

Brother, the debuffs are stacking up to the max.

"Auntie, what's my name?" Wu Wang quickly adapted to her accent and asked in slightly unpracticed words.

Upon hearing this, the woman felt even more helpless.

She hadn't expected the boy to not even remember his own name; it seemed his madness was getting worse.

It was all the fault of his dead parents—of all the names they could have picked, they gave the boy a name like this!

"Your name is Zhang Sanfeng, your nickname is Erwa. Um... where did you get those mushrooms from?" The woman paused mid-sentence.

She noticed a mushroom lying on his empty bed, and he had even covered it carefully with a quilt, as if afraid the mushroom would catch a cold.

As she spoke, she prepared to reach out and take the mushroom.

Unexpectedly, Wu Wang lunged toward the bed, staring at her fiercely. Saliva dripped from the corner of his mouth, his eyes were bloodshot, and he waved his hands wildly, acting like a beast: "I picked it! I thought no one wanted it!"

"You're not allowed to touch my things!"

"Otherwise, don't blame me, Zhang Sanfeng, for killing my own kin for the greater good!"

Seeing him like this, the woman was startled.

But since he had the identity of a madman, she had long since grown used to such erratic behavior.

When speaking to someone with madness, one had to go along with them and avoid conflict; otherwise, a madman might truly fight to the death!

The woman merely glanced at the type of mushroom, saw it wasn't poisonous, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Fine, fine, I won't touch it. I have things to do, so I'll leave. I'll come back tonight to open the door and take you to the square for the feast."

With that, she stood up and walked out of the house.

As the wooden plank clattered shut, Wu Wang heard the piercing sound of a chain sliding, and he suddenly understood.

It turned out his character had been locked in this thatched woodshed by them all along!

No wonder there was nothing inside.

They were probably afraid Zhang Sanfeng would hurt them.

Immediately after, he heard voices from outside, seemingly the woman talking to someone.

"Oh, that dead madman won't survive the Great Sacrifice anyway, why are you even worrying about him?" This was the impatient voice of a man.

The woman replied, "His parents were quite good to our family when they were alive. Now that only the child is left, there are still three days left; we can't just let him die of hunger."

*What kind of bullshit is this?*

They start a conversation by predicting I'll be dead in three days.

Are you two even villagers?

You're practically the Black and White Impermanence!

"You have the nerve to blame me? I don't know who intentionally left the door unlocked yesterday, trying to let him run away? But the boy has never left the village in his life, and with his madness, he only went up the mountain to pick a mushroom and came right back," the woman said helplessly.

"Hmph! I don't know what you're talking about!"

The man's cursing voice drifted further away.

The woman followed him.

There was no more movement outside.

Wu Wang turned his head to look at the girl lying on the bed; the strange, peculiar hat on her head looked exceptionally ridiculous.

【Mushroom Hat】

【Equipment Effect: Wear this hat and stay still to rapidly erase your presence, making others perceive you as nothing more than a harmless mushroom.】

【Note: I am a mushroom, what are you?】

This was a trophy Wu Wang had looted from Tu Xing Sun. In his words—*I picked it!*

At first, there seemed to be some "contaminated" text on the Mushroom Hat, but when Wu Wang picked it up, the Abyss God exerted its power once again.

After the blood-red pupils stared at the hat for a few seconds, the contaminated text vanished.

Clearly, this so-called "contamination" had been consumed by the Mark of the Abyss God.

Speaking of which, it was a good thing he acted fast.

Otherwise, once the woman discovered the girl, she might have dragged her off to be some kind of "Holy Maiden."

"Hiss... ow, ow, ow..."

The girl rubbed her head and opened her eyes dizzily. What met her eyes was a dirty-looking little beggar; the grime on his face made it almost impossible to see his features.

Except for his eyes, which were incredibly bright.

Oh, and his teeth... he was smiling quite happily.

Under normal circumstances, anyone waking up from unconsciousness to see such a person sitting beside them would likely panic.

However, she did not.

She only asked in confusion, "Who are you?"

"Heh heh heh! Since you have asked with such sincerity (Team Rocket introduction omitted), I am—"

"James?" the girl suddenly interrupted.

"Uh..."

The name was so unexpected that it broke the momentum of the mood Wu Wang had been building.

A flash of surprise rose in his heart.

*Wait a minute! How does this person know the names of anime characters from the real world?*

"No! This humble Taoist does not change his name or his ways; I am Zhang Sanfeng! What is your lovely name, lady? Do you have any instructions for me?" Wu Wang was, after all, someone who had seen much of the world.

Even though this dungeon was filled with strange things at every turn, his way of conducting himself remained unchanged.

This was the confidence the Abyss God had given him!

"My name... I... can't remember clearly. My head feels a bit dizzy right now." The girl rubbed the back of her head, where there was an extremely gruesome wound.

It was obvious that before Zhang Sanfeng found her, this person had fainted in the mountains due to a head injury.

But when Wu Wang saw the wound, which had just scabbed over and still had traces of blood, the expression on his face changed unnaturally.

Because he remembered clearly.

Wu Xiaoyou also had a wound on the back of her head!

The only difference was—

This wound was fresh and still bleeding, while his second sister's was an old injury from five years ago.

Speaking of which...

Although this girl looked exactly like Wu Xiaoyou, her features seemed much younger.

"Damn it! This dungeon isn't..."

(End of Chapter)